Letting go is never easy. This is true for many reasons – comfort with the familiar is one such reason. In this case, comfort holds us back. Of course, some things are easier to let go of than others. Yet, it’s important to know and remember that we cannot enslave our present and future simply because we resist letting go of our past – no matter how dire or great it might have been.
My mom died a year ago today.
We sold her house and car a little less than a week ago. A couple of days after that, the last bouquet of flowers cut from her yard found their way into a wastebasket. In many ways, a chapter – perhaps a big section – in the book of my life is now, more or less, fully written.
It’s time to turn the page and move on. Yes, that’s cliche. Yet, it’s appropriate here.
Letting Go – Honoring Your Past While Not Anchoring Yourself to it
When I was researching and writing Legendary Locals of Auburn, I had the good fortune to learn a lot about Judge Frank M. Powers. Among many of his great quotes I found attributable to him is this one. As a historian and one who has seen firsthand the perils of being stuck in the past, this quote spoke to me.
In fact, it sort of cut deep into me.
Perhaps you know someone who lives in the past. He or she may not even realize it. They long for the old days when life was simpler. To be surrounded by the people who made their life what it once was. They’re constantly sharing stories about how it used to be.
That’s well and good. Our past is a part of us. However, we can be honoring of heritage without condemning our present or future seasons of life. Our past is in the past. Whether it is a past triumph or a fast failure, that’s where it shall remain.
Nobody can change that.
Letting Go – Getting Past Your Past – Means Getting Better, Not Bitter
In Daniel Fusco’s book, Honestly, one of the key themes he addresses is the way we can take the events, circumstances and happenings of our lives and use them as the driver to go forward. The two available paths, as Fusco describes, is one toward bitterness or being better.
You see, if we dwell of those moments – those moments firmly placed in our past – they breed discouragement, resentment, anger, rage and a host of other emotions. We get fixated and so focused on that which we cannot change, we ignore what we can change.
In few words, those emotions fester into bitterness.
To get past your past, you gotta let that go. Preferably, let it go before it makes its way into bitterness.
The tighter your grip, the harder it is to release.
Letting Go Means Loosening the Grip on your Past
“But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.– Isaiah 43:18-19 (NLT)
Jesus is in the business of making things new. That includes the heavens and the earth, and it includes the lands and the seas.
That includes you and me.
Isaiah’s message to Israel came as they were in captivity and had lost everything they once valued. They were homesick and longed for the blessings promised to them by God. They had victories in their past; such as leaving Egypt, conquering Canaan, and surviving a split in their country.
Despite that record of success, they had an even longer record of low points. They worshiped idols in the temple given to them by God. They claimed his truth was a lie, disobeyed his commands, abused the poor and outright rejected God.
But look at what Isaiah says. First, he says to “forget the past… it is NOTHING compared to what is ahead.” We all need to look ahead. Not behind. God’s painting a vibrant future. It’s not just that he is going to do it – he’s already begun!
We may not yet see it. But God will clear the path. Even in an overgrown forest so thick we can’t see a foot in front of us. Even in the driest and empty of lands, God will establish flowing rivers of abundance.
In short, God is giving you a fresh start.
He’s provided us with the ultimate “reset” button. But first, you have to want it. First, you have to loosen your grip, because, before you can pursue that which is ahead, you have to release the grip you have on the anchors of your past.
You Are Capable of Letting Go and Getting Past Your Past
I want to share a personal story about letting go. Because I believe God gives us small signs of assurance or encouragement as we go through life, this simple example offers that evidence.
My mom spent most of her life stuck in past misfortunes and regret. One of my biggest disappointments in my life is that I could not help her get past it. She lived a rough existence as a paranoid schizophrenic who also suffered chronic depression among many other maladies. I did what I could, but always felt powerless to help her.
This, for whatever reason was true of even small tasks. It seemed like little things would always go wrong and spin into much bigger complexities. For example, a lock might stick and, in the course of trying to fix it, we would find the whole mechanism rusted out, requiring a total replacement.
A five-minute fix suddenly became several hours (and a bit costlier).
This was the regular flow and you would find yourself not wanting to work on anything out of the fear that you would have to invest your whole day in a simple project.
After her passing, as we finished preparing her house for sale, we had electrical work down on the home. After the work, I tested everything. All was well, I knew the electrician did quality work, though grew concerned over the fact that the air hadn’t come on recently. I lowered the thermostat setting and it still had not come on. I, of course, am thinking of past experiences trying to do repairs for her.
So I reset the unit. It did finally came on. Relief (both physically and emotionally).
Over the next couple days, the weather was a little cooler than normal and the thermostat was kept a bit high since nobody was living in the house at the time. But the concern over the air unit remained in the back of my mind. I kept telling myself it was nothing. But, as I just explained, with my mom, it was never “nothing.”
The day before we closed on the sale, I went over to do a last check of the house, to get some keys, and retrieve anything that might have been left there. On the wall hung one last picture, that of an angel, I had sort of symbolically left as we prepped the house. Just before leaving, I took the picture down and spent some time to say a few last words to my mom in her house.
As I stood at the door to leave, I took a final look at the place, knowing I would likely not walk in the home again. I said my “bye mom” out loud… and I heard the air unit kick on. 🙂
In my mind’s eye, I saw my mom smiling at me. She was telling me everything is good.
Yes, forget all that is behind.
Move past your past.
Great things are ahead!
Forget all that is behind. Move past your past. Great things are ahead! #TGBAG Click To Tweet